A Gooey, Revolting Triumph

I just don't know what to say about this. I am flat-out stunned by the decadence of the dessert I just made. It is appalling.

Okay, you start with chocolate chip cookie dough, which is basically flour, sugar, and butter. You turn part into cookies and refrigerate the rest. You make homemade hot fudge. You make homemade ice cream. Then you put a glob of cold cookie dough in a bowl and surround it with ice cream. You jam cookies into the ice cream, sideways. Then you pour on the hot fudge and...OH...OHHHH...OHHHHHH...

It's HIDEOUS. I don't think I have ever been prouder. Five bites of this stuff would make a premenstrual hippo puke. The cold, creamy vanilla...the hot, gooey fudge...the crunchy cookies...the buttery, sugary dough...

If this were the real thing and not a trial, I'd also put real whipped cream on it.

The genius isn't in the ingredients. I doubt my cookies or ice cream are any better than anyone else's. The genius is in slopping this stuff together in one bowl and having the stones to serve it to people.

OH GOD...WHAT IF YOU PUT FRESH STRAWBERRIES ON IT?

No, too much. Please don't.

I'm calling my friend Ivette again, and if she doesn't agree to take a delivery PRONTO, all this stuff is getting flung out into the yard.