¡No me Jodas!

Just stuffed the coconut flan into the oven. There is clearly something wrong with my recipe. It says to start with 3 eggs, 4 yolks, 4 oz. of Coco Lopez, and a 14-oz. can of condensed milk. Then it says to add enough half and half to make two and a half cups. Hello, dumbass? You're starting with 18 oz. of stuff, then you add a pile of eggs. It's over two and a half cups to start with. Maybe I meant to say three cups. Hell, I don't know.

Val Prieto has threatened to force me to salsa with the viejas at his Noche Buena. Nothing doing. I will wear a cast if necessary. I have tried keeping up with old Cuban ladies on the dance floor before, and it has only resulted in humiliation and blisters.

I am fatigued. I also made two Bourbon-flavored pecan pies for Xmas dinner.

Perhaps a little contraband will restore my faculties. Time to pick a suitable Cuban and start herfing.