Shmoke but no Pancake

All right. I just tried a Martini made from Teton Glacier vodka, as well as a Hoyo de Monterrey Epicure No. 2 robusto, from a certain island I dare not mention.

As stated previously, I was looking for a good non-weasel vodka for Martinis. I had already found Chopin, an amazingly smooth potato product from the stand-up nation of Poland. Then I heard about Teton Glacier, made right here in the good old U.S. of A., and I had to give it a shot.

A reader informs me that the current bottle for Teton Glacier is made in...gag...FRANCE. However, paying a few cents for glass beats giving them the whole thirty bucks. And the bottle is temporary, according to the website, so soon the product should be totally free of weasel content.

Teton Glacier is made in Idaho, so I suppose finding potatoes isn't all that hard for the distiller. Taken straight, I prefer Chopin. I'd say they're equally smooth, but Teton Glacier is a little more acrid. BUT...in a Martini, it's flawless. I shook one for myself earlier. Maybe half a teaspoon of Martini & Rossi vermouth, three queen olives, and a nice Waterford Marquis Martini glass. It was sublime. Not even a hint of bite. And it didn't make the Martini overpowering the way a lot of more-flavorful vodkas do.

The smoke was not bad, either. The Epicure No. 2 is considered one of the finest Cuban smokes. It comes very nicely finished in a fairly light-colored wrapper. No band; this was a cabinet smoke. That means it comes unbanded, in a plain box, in a bundle wrapped in a ribbon. I clipped it and went to work, and I drew a few conclusions.

First of all, the burn was perfect from one end to the other. Okay, ONCE it got a little lopsided, but it cleared up, and after that, no more problems. And I got tons of smoke. Unlike most cigars, this one gave off visible smoke while I was just holding it and listening to the stereo.

The taste was very nice, but not exciting. A little Cuban spice and sweetness, but on the whole, kind of a dry smoke. Imagine a Sir Winston or a Hoyo de Monterrey double corona with the sweetness cut in half. For my robusto dollar, I think I'd rather have the brutal, no-holds-barred Ramon Allones Specially Selected.

Can't complain about the background music. Artur Rubinstein, playing Chopin nocturnes. Yeah, I'll sound like that real soon.

So. Teton Glacier highly recommended. Epicure No. 2 recommended only for serious students of the Cuban stogie. Artur Rubinstein indispensable.

Come back next week when I comparison-test motorized blackhead extractors.