Ladies, Frost Your Little Pink Mugs

I'm formulating the recipe for my new Wuss Pacification Beer.

In the past, I've taken various beers I've brewed to ManCamp, and while Tommy has pretty much bathed in them, I have had a hard time getting a certain other person to imbibe. A certain person who drinks Budweiser.

I decided to put together an inoffensive but still tasty brew to begin turning him to the dark side. I'm trying to sort of copy a couple of lagers I've had in the past. One is Gold Star, from Israel, and the other is Point, from Wisconsin.

Gold Star is okay, although you are not likely to give it a whole chapter in your beer diary. The hops are detectable, unlike the ones they supposedly put in Bud, and there's a little malt flavor. Point is sort of similar, if memory serves.

Here's what I'm thinking:

6 lbs. Belgian Pilsner malt
2 lbs. flaked maize
1 lb. 10L crystal malt

The Pilsner is the sort of light-colored malt usually used to make lagers. The corn is a wussification ingredient that will suck some of the body out of the beer, and I'm hoping it will add flavor that Bud drinkers (used to corn and rice in their beer) will find familiar and comforting. The crystal malt is to add a little sweetness so the beer won't be like water.

I'm planning to use White Labs American Lager yeast and Magnum hops. Point uses Magnum.

The beer will have a bitterness level of around 25 IBU, which is double Bud's score but still pretty weak.

I'm tempted to jack the IBU number up to 40 and add another pound of Crystal malt so the beer will actually have some alcohol in it, but like Hillary Clinton said after having her fat ass handed to her on the health care thing, sometimes baby steps are best.

The red ale I made a week or two ago is ready to keg. It went from 1.056 to 1.012 (specific gravity) during brewing, which gives an alcohol percentage of around 5.6%. Tastes swell, as always.

My orange lager is now fermenting nicely. I DO look forward to that one.

Of course, this means I have to dispose of my existing ale and orange lager quickly, to make room. Whatever will I do? It's a puzzle.

I'm sure the county has a facility for disposing of excess beer.