"If Found Unconscious Before Twelve Noon, Connect Caffeine IV Immediately"

I made coffee this morning, and while I was reaching for the pot, to fill my second 15-ounce cup, I thought to myself, "This is a medical emergency."

Have you ever felt that way about coffee?

I smoked a beautiful Hoyo de Monterrey double corona yesterday, and I knew the nicotine would keep me awake, so I knocked myself out later, with three hits of Benadryl and a melatonin capsule.

When you sleep that hard, waking up without assistance is a scientific impossibility.