Aluminum Reeks of Estrogen

What's the last thing Hollywood needs? A new asshole. Yet Ann Coulter, AKA my Sweet Babboo, has provided them with a fresh one by drilling it in the always-vulnerable posterior of George Clooney.

We've always heard that Joe McCarthy was a son of a bitch, and maybe he was. But what we have not heard is that it didn't take much guts to oppose him in the press. In fact we've heard the opposite, which is not true. George "Brain Damage Was Funny Until it Happened to Me" Clooney has made a movie praising liberal journalist Ed Murrow for bravely taking on McCarthy. Ann points out that by the time Murrow got on the bandwagon, practically every major newspaper in the country was already calling for McCarthy's head.

And guess what? The communists WERE trying to take over the world, and they DID have moles in the entertainment industry, the press, and the government. Wonder why liberals never mention that.

Notice I say McCarthy may have been a son of a bitch. That's because I don't know. In his day, there was no Fox News, and liberals decided what we got to read and hear and see. I'm too lazy to look up the facts on my own, and I sure as hell don't trust the Murrow-era, conservative-blacklisting press to tell me the answers.

What else is going on? Commenter LC Staci royally pissed off my male commenters, all of whom have been driven mad with lust by her talk of owning spearguns and shotguns and working on her own car, by suggesting I drop by a local bar and say hi. I had no idea, since the comment got stuck in a spam filter, so I didn't go. But I thought I'd bring it up just to make my male readers mad with envy. If I can't do something good for myself, at least I can make other people suffer. That's my philosophy.

In other news, I am continuing my perilous flirtation with total homosexuality by searching Ebay for cast iron corn stick pans.

I only recall my mother having three types of cast iron kitchen items in the house when I was a kid. The venerable #6 skillet, her trivets, and her corn stick pans. I got the skillet, but my sister ran off with the other stuff as part of her campaign of gradually looting my father's house on grounds that he was going to die pretty soon anyway. I remember arguing with her about the silver. My father was right there in the room, and I gestured at him and said, "He's still ALIVE."

Anyway, I have a couple of Lodge corn stick pans. I don't like their rough skillets (at least not until I sand them smooth), but the pans seem a little smoother. Still, I'm not sure if they're worth a damn. I can't remember the last time I used one.

I thought that while I'm amassing Griswold iron, I might as well look into new (old) corn stick pans and see if they were worth buying. As luck would have it, the ones I like best are worth the least. I have my copy of The Book of Griswold & Wagner, and it says the pans labeled (DELETED) run around $35. I can swing that.

Oh, I know you thought you had me. You thought I was going to describe the pans so you could log onto Ebay and STEAL them from me. You bastards. No such luck. I deleted the crucial info. So if you want my pans, you'll have to buy EVERY pan on Ebay.

Corn sticks are pretty decent. You get a higher proportion of crust to bread. Anyway, I want the frigging pans purely for sentimental reasons.

Don't start on my Griswold & Wagner book. It's perfectly normal for a man to have a book like that. I don't want to hear your whiny insinuations. I am amazingly manly. For example, I fart constantly. And I have the hairiest nipples you ever saw. Unless you're James Brolin.

I got encouraging news about the sample chapter. Supposedly, my agent AND the guy from the publishing company are excited. It would sure be nice to get published. If I don't, think of the loss to Western literature. The Stephco Home Circumcision Kit--which uses propane--how will the world of print humor survive without it?

Think I'll go lounge on the patio and drink beer.