Drink up, Fellow Gentiles

Tremendous Jew that I am, I stocked up on kosher for Passover Coke today. I hit the grocery store, and the first thing I saw was a gigantic display. If you don't know about kosher Coke, let me clue you in. It's made with real sugar instead of greasy-tasting corn syrup. And it only comes in two-liter bottles with yellow caps.

Now that I've done you a big favor by tipping you off, you should go make fun of Dan From Madison's haircut.