Bleahhh

I thought I could handle it. But I can't. I absolutely can't face another serving of salmon.

I had this idea that I would replace my cholesterol-filled morning eggs with fish. Fish is full of omega-3s. That has to be better than three eggs every morning, right?

But fish is expensive. I don't want to blow ten bucks on breakfast six days a week. Finally, I decided canned salmon was the answer. I'd get up every day and eat oatmeal, followed by salmon salad.

I can't look at that crap any more. Salmon salad is fine, on a nice carb-laden sandwich. But by itself? Even Tom Cruise would turn it down.

I don't know what the answer is. Maybe I'll have to find some sort of oaty bread, dump the daily bowl of oatmeal, and eat sandwiches in the morning.

I truly miss the good old days, when I always had tons of dolphin in the freezer. But the weather has been horrible for months. On land, it's nice and dry and breezy. On the water, it's eight-foot waves and a constant beating. The only people who fish in this kind of weather are Yankees determined to squeeze as much value as possible out of their vacation dollars. The same pinheads who go to the beach in February when it's 45 degrees and go, "I love it! It's BRISK." While their teeth chatter and their nipples turn blue.

I think I need to start meat fishing, and then I should smoke like fifty pounds of fish. Then I'd be eating a lot of salt, though. Damn it.

I tried buying egg whites, but you would be amazed how much egg white you have to eat to get the amount of protein you would get from regular eggs. I was making these big fluffy piles of scrambled egg whites with one yolk, and it was like eating the foam from an airline seat. I guess I could go back to that. Salmon makes it look appetizing.

My research shows that there is no such thing as a healthy, protein-rich breakfast for under five bucks. Might as well not even try. You can either eat eggs, or you can stuff yourself with cheap carbs, which will turn into homocysteine and kill you dead as a hammer.

And the worst part is, McDonald's stopped serving McMuffins thirteen minutes ago.