Professionalism at its Best

This is what it's like to be a big-time writer.

Here's part of an email from my editor:

Also, your signing check went out to T___ today. Your ass is officially ours. --g

I wrote back:

You got it for cheap. Like all those who came before you.

Then I sent this to my agent:

John:

Gary says the check has been mailed. Please send it quickly, as I have my eye on a new pair of socks.

Keep your fingers crossed for big sales, so next time we can make the publisher cut a huge check and then require their marketing people to form naked pyramids.