More Pirate Rules

I worked on the Pirate Code today. Here is part of the chapter:

The sample rules serve to highlight a problem with modern-day pirating, which is that wives and girlfriends think it’s incredibly stupid, and that they will make fun of you until you nearly consider shaving your chin beard and taking up golf.

Don’t give up so easy. Think about all the stupid things women do. I once had a woman drag me to a cat show. I figured it would be full of exhibits about things you could buy to get rid of cats. Like cat traps and cat zappers and catpaper. It turned out they were selling ridiculous items intended to bring cats pleasure and make them more comfortable in your house. How idiotic is that? Cat repellant. That’s what they need to sell. Anti-cat mines. Laser-guided surface-to-cat missiles. Electrical devices to attach to furniture, which send a thousand volts up a stream of cat urine and cause pleasing explosions.