But I Don't

I am so bummed out. I ran out of Hall's zinc cough drops yesterday, and I went to CVS to get more, and the bastards didn't have them. This really sucks. I had to get an inferior, gritty product called...well, I forget what it was called. But it was like sucking on a wad of mulch.

I used to use Cold-eez drops, but they left a galvanized-fence taste in my mouth. Then I found Hall's, and all was bliss. But CVS is too lame to stock them.

Thanks, whoever suggested Tylenol's fake Nyquil product. I was startled to learn that Vick's took the decongestant out of Nyquil. I guess they figured they were appealing to the schnapps crowd, so it didn't really matter whether their product actually contained medicine.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the meth epidemic. All sorts of great decongestants are off the market, because droopy-pants teenage pukes were buying pseudoephedrine to make meth. I say let them make it, and die. I need my air, people. The new stuff they put in cold medicine doesn't seem to do a damn thing.

As a matter of fact, I took a 12-hour pseudoephedrine product on top of the Tylenol cocktail, because I still had air problems. I barely have symptoms, but it was bad enough to make me snore, so I wasn't having any of that.

Tylenol's site says their product contains "Phenylephrine HCl." That must be the wimp-ass stuff they replaced the real decongestant with. Bastards.

If you're buying decongestant this season, don't be fooled. Read the tiny print. If it doesn't have the real stuff, don't buy it. And go kick the pharmacist in the ass.

You can still find pseudoephedrine if you look. If you have a fourteen-year-old relative who wears his pants around his ankles, he can probably tell you which product to buy.

That meth must be great stuff. Grown people who ought to have better sense are taking it. If the libertarians ever get their way and have all drugs legalized, maybe I'll start putting it in my coffee.

I don't understand how people get addicted to stuff. I used to take Ritalin by the handful, every day, and it only made me tired of Ritalin. And who likes beer more than I do? Nobody. But I go days without a drink, and when I do drink, it's pretty rare that I drink enough to accomplish anything.

Pizza. THAT is an addiction. But I think all human beings are born with that one.

Today is shaping up to be a fine day. Noche Buena is tonight, and I didn't have to make the moros. I didn't even have to go to Val's at 7 a.m. today to help him sew the moros into the pig and put it on the spit. All I have to do is make flan, which I am going to get started on in an hour or so.

I am tired of dragging my camera to ManCamp, but I'm sure no one else will have the character to bring one, so I better take it and get some shots of the pig on the spit.

I'm really worried that the pig is going to disintegrate at around 7 p.m. and drop beans and rice all over the ground, but Val is determined to macho it out and see what happens. I hope he's right. I would have rigged something up to run a couple of rods down the length of the pig, or I would have wrapped it in metal mesh or something.

I have to hand it to Val and his dad. The rotisserie they built is a monument to male recklessness and ingenuity.

Time to shower and hit the grocery store. Merry Christmas, one and all.

Oops

Oh, yeah. While you're having fun, remember that Christmas has something or other to do with that "Christ" guy. In a world where most religions see God or the gods as selfish, capricious jerks or apathetic administrators who don't care about human suffering, Christianity alone recognizes God as a person who loved us so much He came to earth in the form of a man and allowed Himself to be tortured to death by His jeering enemies so we could be free of the consequences of our own evil deeds.

A lot of religions require the sacrifice of human beings to please gods. Christianity's God sacrificed Himself for the benefit of human beings.

As end-of-the-year gifts go, that one is hard to top.