Get a Prize for Being the Fifth Visitor

Yesterday I decided to put up an official website. Remember me pondering aloud about SteveHGraham.com?

I wonder how many of you tried to buy it out from under me. HA! My rule is, never mention a domain name on your site unless you already own it.

Wait...you could always buy SteveHGraham.net and try to sell it to me.

HA! I thought of that, too, losers.

Now you're checking to get my personal information. Hard cheese, stalkers. Taste the bitter flavor of DOMAINS BY PROXY as you kiss the canvas.

The site is already up. It's not really worth visiting. It's just a few words of groveling, plus links to Roller Coaster of Hate and GOOD MORNING NIGERIA! And a link to Amazon, where my three annual visitors can buy my book.

I figure the site will create its own traffic if I succeed in selling books. If I don't, it's twenty bucks down the toilet. And I'll have to go dig out my old drive-thru headset and get a job befitting my skills.

Obviously, I didn't link back to this site. No point in staining my pseudonym worse than I already have. And there are no comments. Even less reason for you go to look.

If my theories about the Internet are correct AND I have extraordinary luck and sell a couple of hundred thousand books over the next year or two, I'll end up with 20K visitors a day, even if I do nothing to promote the site. And sadly, I won't care, because I'll have better things to do than fart around with a website. You don't see Stephen King and Ann Coulter posting cat photos and getting sucked into blogwars.

If I sell very few books, the place will end up more like Wonkette's new blog. A constant reminder that the public hates me.

If my books sell, I guess I'll have to quit making fun of people like Cox and Reynolds and Zuniga. That would really hurt. The very thought of being gracious is a little nauseating.