Call me a Spamaloompa

What a crazy morning.

I got up and started to prepare for the trip to Fox's local affiliate, and I got a call from one of the producers. They wanted information on the book, so I volunteered to sit down and type out a couple of pages of notes. Then I had a hard time getting an email to go through to her, probably because the Nigeria references triggered a spam filter.

I finally got in the shower and got it together, and then Carlos the limo driver called and needed help with the directions. Understandable. No one can find this place.

We drove to Fox's station on 79th street, and on the way I saw that Flora's Pizza--a true pizza shrine--had a new name. Damn it. I'll bet the food sucks now.

We went to the big, impressive TV station building, and Carlos went in and found out it was the wrong place. We had to go to another location.

Fox has a tiny, crappy office. You would not believe it. The makeup lady, whose name I can't spell, sat me down and started painting me. I told her not to make me look like John Kerry. Orange is not my color. I'm sure the job she did was fantastic, but I suspect I was a LITTLE orange.

The camera guy, whose name I forgot because I am senile, took me in and put me in a chair and got the lighting and sound adjusted. They got me some water, and a little voice in my ear told me to get ready, and a few minutes later, BANG, they were asking questions.

I didn't know what to say, because there wasn't a whole lot of preparation. I expected them to guide things with questions, but it seemed like that wasn't the way it worked, so I said whatever I thought was helpful. And then it was over, and Carlos was driving me home.

On the way out, while the makeup was being scraped off, Anna Nicole stuff was going on in the back ground, and someone said the name "Steve Harrigan." Turned out he was ten feet away, on the phone. All I could see was the top of his head, but that was enough. I told them I loved his work because he was Fox's snake eater. If there are bullets, if there is radiation, if there are hungry tigers rampaging through a Fox studio, who do they send? Steve Harrigan. I said, "It's like they have something against him." They said they'd let him know I praised his work when he got off the phone.

On the ride home I asked Carlos if he knew anything about Flora's, and he said he didn't. One thing led to another, and I ended up writing my pizza recipe down for him. I gave him the hogonice.com URL and told him to click "Death by Fork" for more information.

And now here I am. Wearing normal clothing and somewhat less orange.

People have said nice things about the appearance. I appreciate it. It's not really my thing, and I had no idea what I was doing, but I can't believe I was lucky enough to get the opportunity.

Wasn't that Megyn Kelly on the show? I only saw a tiny TV, and I didn't get a chance to look very closely. If so, I am upset that I was not allowed to propose.

Everyone at the office was polite and pleasant and thoughtful, except of course for Steve Harrigan, who was probably arranging to be dropped into an active volcano.

All right. Back to relatively normal life. I think food is in my immediate future.

I can't thank all of you enough for the nice comments I received since last night.

More

Since people are reaming me out for not announcing the time of the interview, let me give you a video link brought to my attention by reader LauraN: go to Foxnews.com, look for "Hot Video," and click "taking on junk e-mail scammers."