I'm Practically a Vegan

I now have proof that I am the most pathetic person who ever lived.

I still feel wiped out after today's interview. Maybe it's the overcast weather. Maybe I didn't sleep as well as I thought. But I was too pooped to cook, so I went to McDonald's.

Instead of my usual Double Quarter-Pounder with Cheese, I had a Big Mac.

Why?

Because it contained salad.

Yes, I knew I was making a horrendous choice by going to McDonald's, and I tried to make up for it by eating a fat, greasy sandwich containing half an ounce of shredded lettuce.

Mmm. Wow. I can already feel the fiber, vitamins, and minerals invigorating my system.

I also had a Diet Coke. Every little bit helps.