Maybe Al Gore Can Help Me

I thought it might be nice to have a tobacco knife of my own, for sentimental reasons. I got on Ebay to see if I could find one. And even though several Southern states grow cigarette tobacco by the tens of thousands of acres, I found that tobacco knives are impossible to buy.

A tobacco knife is a stick about fifteen inches long, with a squarish piece of steel plate fastened to one end with two bolts. You sharpen it like a file and use it like a hatchet. It's for harvesting tobacco.

Here's how a tobacco harvest works. When you're nearly ready to harvest, you walk down the rows of tobacco dropping four-foot-long oak sticks on the ground. They're sharpened on both ends. When you're ready to cut, you grab a stick at the end of the row, push it into the dirt so it stands up at a 45-degree angle, and start chopping tobacco.

You place a thing called a spear on the upper end of the stick. I believe that's the right term. It's a funnel-shaped piece of steel with a sharp point at the small end. The purpose is to provide a sharp end to split tobacco stalks as you slide them onto the stick.

You cut a stalk of tobacco off at ground level. Then you pick it up and press it against the point of the spear, so the point is perpendicular to the stalk about six inches from the base. You push so the spike splits the stalk, and you push the stalk down the stick so it ends up threaded onto it. You angle the stalk so it lies on the ground with what used to be the top pointing behind you and to one side. Then you put another stalk on after it, pointing behind you and to the other side. You end up with a stick held up by a V-shaped array of stalks.

I thought it would be nice to have a knife because I used to cut tobacco on my grandfather's farms back in Kentucky sometimes. Guess it'll be a while before I locate one.

As it happens, they're probably great garden tools. Much more durable than a machete, with a blade that slides right through things. I'm surprised they don't use them on sugar cane.

Last time I checked the web for tobacco sticks, some nut was selling them for walking canes. Something like twenty-five dollars each. I told my cousin we had thrown away a fortune.

Hmm...found a crappy knife on Ebay. Here, look.

Maybe I'll find a decent one some day.

Here's an item I missed out on because my sniping program had the wrong password.