Sometimes a Good Day at Work is Better Than a Good Day of Fishing

I'm finally getting some work done.

Over the last month, I've been very distracted. I had to do my own PR, I had a boat trip to prepare for, and I had another problem which was extremely distracting. I can't tell you about it now, but I will eventually write about it in excruciating detail, if possible. Now things have calmed down, and I'm doing what I think is some of the best writing of my life. What a relief.

I'm working on the caveman book. I was worried about it, because the concept is somewhat thin, and the marketing people at my publisher have started committing the first deadly sin of publishing: telling the writer what to put in the book. That's a fine thing to do if you're working with someone who is writing a dry piece of nonfiction, but it tends to kill humor and make it impossible to write. By the grace of God, things are working out.

Today I'm working on the religion chapter of the book. I think my publisher will forgive me for showing you a tiny piece. I'm writing about how sun worship began in response to fears that the sun would quit rising if it were not appeased. In other words, cavemen worshiped the sun in order to prevent "global darkening."

After that, we decided the best strategy was to keep it entertained, so it would want to hang around and watch us all day. This led to the birth of theater. We cleared out an area down near the big communal fire, and we put on the first plays. Here’s what the first drama looked like:

FIRST CAVEMAN: I love the Big Ball of Light more than you do.

SECOND CAVEMAN: Yes, I do not love the Big Ball of Light, for I am an infidel.

FIRST CAVEMAN: [crushes Second Caveman’s skull with a big rock]

SECOND CAVEMAN’S FATHER IN LAW: [to daughter] I told you not to marry a damn actor.

We also had some wonderful comedies. Here’s a great example:

FIRST CAVEMAN: I love the Big Ball of Light more than you do.

SECOND CAVEMAN: Yes, I do not love the Big Ball of Light, for I am an infidel.

FIRST CAVEMAN: [crushes Second Caveman’s skull with a big rock]

FIRST CAVEMAN: Nyuk nyuk nyuk. WOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOO!

I have become determined to clean up my work and remove anything R-rated or truly tasteless. And I've been concerned, because that makes it harder to be funny. But the luck I'm having today proves to me that it can be done, if you work at it and have faith. And in the end, I'll be prouder of what I write, and it will have a bigger potential audience.

I'm pooped. Think I'll take a break and go stare at my tools.