Licensed to Kill Varmints, by The Government of the United Nations

I have one nice Mortgage Lifter tomato. That's about it for this season. I'm worried that the squirrels will eat it.

Is there anything that actually repels squirrels? I mean, not snake oil, like the ridiculous ladybug/mealybug cure. The real deal?

I'm so paranoid I'm considering getting a decent air rifle and popping the little shits from a window, so the Gables Nazis won't see me killing them and cite me for violating their pansy ordinances.

My dad would love it. He hasn't had squirrel in years.