Simple Tube Through the Back of the Neck so it Can Breathe...

Planning to be like your hero Steve and turn a propane tank into a smoke box? Here's how to get the valve out of the top.

Researching this problem and reading comments from knowledgeable readers, I learned that propane valves are installed with idiotic amounts of torque, and that they are sealed in place with annoying compounds. Some places put them in a giant vise and use a four-foot wrench to remove valves. Other places have special jigs. I didn't have any of that. I couldn't even get a strap wrench. Home Depot doesn't sell them.

I took the upper half of the tank, stood it on its handle, and filled it with hardwood charcoal. I lit it and went about my business. Today I dumped the ashes on my bean vines (potassium) and took the tank inside. I clamped it in my giant 5" Wilton vise, on my 300-pound home-built workbench, and I applied my new 18" pipe wrench. Home Depot DOES sell those. Although I think I should return this one. It balks when you try to open and close the jaws, to a degree I have never seen before.

You can't clamp a tank in a vise (unless it's gigantic), but you CAN clamp half a tank in a vise. You just clamp one side. I was worried about bending it, but then I realized I could minimize the likelihood by running the vise way up in there, near the shoulder of the tank. That area is very rigid. And the tank didn't bend, and the valve came out.

Now, you want to know how to get the old paint off. My solution? Spray poisonous stripper on it and leave it in a tiled shower. Hopefully the grout won't dissolve. Once that's done, I think I'll use naval jelly to kill the rust. I don't have a sandblaster, and I don't feel like running a drill with a wire brush all day.