Die, Bitches

I have poisoned the whole yard AGAIN. This makes once with bifenthrin, once with malathion, and twice with imidacloprid. If I can find a bag of plutonium, I'll be using that too.

Nothing seems to nail the damn whiteflies. Imidacloprid got them off the crops and shrubs, but it hasn't done diddly for the ones in the grass. I think that's because I didn't water it in the last time. So this time, I turned the sprinklers on as soon as I finished spreading the poison.

I will say one thing in praise of the poisons I've used. I haven't seen a roach in at least a week. In Miami, that's extraordinary. Almost creepy. And the giant South American millipedes are getting scarce. The ants seem to be doing fine, however. Last week I noticed they were swarming on me whenever I sat in this chair. Crawling through my hair and biting my legs. I bombed the house and foundation with three nasty chemicals, and things seem to have returned to normal. I don't know why they multiplied so suddenly. I guess this is the time of year when they breed and mount invasions.

Crop experts say you should rotate poisons, spraying first one, and then a few weeks or months later, another. That sounds stupid to me. Seems to me that you should use them pretty close together, if not at the same time. But I'm not sure. I tried to figure it out mathematically, but then I realized there are a whole bunch of factors I can't account for, so to hell with it.

All I know is, I plan to keep killing until the authorities take this stuff away from me.