No Comparison

I had to take the birds out for some air after coming home from the party, so I was sitting here with Maynard in my lap, surfing the web. And I saw a comment on my blog, mentioning the passing of Oscar Peterson, and I saw something about Ike Turner, who died two weeks ago.

Oscar Peterson was a treasure. I suppose you could say he never equalled the superhuman brilliance of his idol, Art Tatum, and that his style sometimes borrowed too heavily from Tatum's. But his music was always beautiful in addition to being clever. That is not true of Tatum's work, and a lot of jazz greats made music that was downright ugly. For example, I've tried to learn to enjoy Charlie Parker, and I just couldn't do it. I'll buy nearly any album, solely on the strength of Oscar Peterson's name.

If you're not a jazz freak, but you love beautiful, soothing music, try Oscar Peterson Plays Porgy and Bess. You don't have to wear a beret and shoot up heroin in order to like it.

It's very sad that the jazz greats are dying and nobody has come along to replace them. Musically, we have become a nation of peasants. Well, that's not true. Peasants have made a lot of great music over the centuries. We eat musical junk food. It's like Pez and TV dinners for the ears.

Ike Turner...not as great a loss. People keep writing about what a musical god he was. I don't see it. I just looked over the list of songs he composed, and almost all of them were crap. He didn't write "Proud Mary" (a song I have always found annoying, anyway), he did not write "Nutbush City Limits" (which I give a C-), and his biggest song, "Rocket 88", is a lyrical disaster. Musically, it's great. But it's just a blues tune, nearly identical to a thousand other blues tunes. And Turner's piano playing on the record is weak.

I found two songs on the list that aren't bad. One is "Rock me, Baby," and the other is "It's a Mean Old World." But nobody seems to mention those when they defend him.

Critics say his 1951 recording of "Rocket 88" is the first rock and roll record. Horse manure. What a stupid claim to make. Big Joe Turner recorded "Roll 'Em Pete" in 1938 (Ike Turner was six or seven years old), and it was the same kind of music Jerry Lee Lewis was calling "rock and roll" twenty-five years later, only better. And there are plenty of other songs out there I could cite. Fast, rhythmic blues is the same thing as rock and roll; I don't care what anyone says. And it has been around since before Ike Turner.

Ike Turner learned piano from Pinetop Perkins. And Pinetop Perkins didn't play Beethoven. He played boogie-woogie. That's what rock and roll used to be called. People call Ike Turner a pioneer, but I can't figure out why, and I have never seen anyone give a good, clear explanation of that claim. People also claim he was a great guitarist, but I can't find any famous examples of his playing. I can remember licks from nearly any great guitarist you can name, but when it comes to Turner, I draw a blank.

Phil Spector, the idiot who probably murdered Lana Clarkson, stood up at Turner's funeral and talked about how great Ike was and how unfair Tina Turner's book and movie were. Well, as far as I can determine, the movie's depiction of Turner as a second-rate talent that burned out seems accurate, and Turner himself admitted he used to slap and punch Tina. So...what am I missing here? I mean, who sits down at the end of a long day and listens to Ike Turner records? Who stands up at a party and tells the DJ to put some Ike Turner on? Who calls radio stations and requests Ike Turner songs? NOBODY.

I've had people recommend music to me all my life. The Who. The Beatles. Django Reinhardt. John Prine. Professor Longhair. All sorts of stuff. I've seen people reach into their LP or CD collections and say, "You have to hear this!" a thousand times. No one has EVER tried to get me to listen to Ike Turner. I just don't think there is much there.

You know who is a surprising talent from Ike Turner's era? Ahmet Ertegun. A Turkish immigrant! He ran Atlantic Records. He probably didn't know fried chicken from baklava, but he wrote marvels like "Chains of Love" and "Sweet Sixteen," and he also wrote "Midnight Special." That is, assuming the credits are accurate.

Incidentally, if you want to hear a great rendition of "Rocket 88," try Pete Johnson's version. Far as I can tell, Pete Johnson is the greatest boogie woogie piano player who ever lived. You will not be disappointed.