Easy is no Fun

One of the annoying things about coming up with a tool project is that sometimes someone has an idea that instantly lets all the air out of it.

I was planning to build a pig rotisserie. I was looking forward to sawing and welding and drilling, to built supports to hold the spit. Then commenter Skippystalin asked why I didn't just use jack stands.

Damn it.

But all hope of excessive work is not lost. I've been Googling, and it turns out it's not easy to find cheap jackstands that go up to three feet. HA! So my plan is still intact.

I found the ideal solution. Boat stands. I don't know why I didn't think of this before. I've seen them a million times in boatyards. They're basically tall jackstands that hold up boats. But unfortunately, they cost over a hundred bucks.

I'm trying to find other answers. Harbor Freight has a bicycle stand for $9.99. Looks a little flimsy, but it holds 150 pounds. The biggest load it would possibly have to cope with would be around 75. It's worth driving down there to take a look.

If these things worked, the modifications would be limited to putting a yoke on one stand and a plate for the motor on the other stand. In about an hour, they could be ready to go. Hilarious. Is there anything Harbor Freight can't do?

Do you realize what the pig project now boils down to? Two bike stands, a motor, a plate, a $5 yoke, two cinderblocks, and an $11 sheet of metal bent into a charcoal pan. Plus a pole with a hub and a collar, and some mesh and Tapcons to anchor the pig. Blocks on ground, pan on blocks, stands at ends, pig on pole, mesh on pig, pole on stands. Add charcoal, and you're cooking. You don't even need the cinderblocks. A few bricks would do it. Anything nonflammable that would hold the pan off the ground.

I should have told Grainger I was a construction company so they would sell me the motor I wanted for $27, but $70 isn't exactly scary.

It's funny, people who make and sell pig cookers use giant motors that cost a couple of hundred bucks. I'd be all for it if they were necessary, but Val's experience with a tiny gearmotor proves they're not. The motor I ordered (Dayton 4LL05) has something like a hundredth of a horsepower, and it will be fine. Because it's slower than Val's motor, I'll be able to use direct drive (no reduction) to get 1 RPM. That means less stress on the motor. No sideways force on the bearings. No added friction.

I weep when I think of the unnecessary work Val and I (mostly Val) have done, roasting pigs. This year, he had to dig the parts of his giant caja china out of his shed, carry them across the yard, assemble them, add extra screws to anchor them, level the box, add stuff to stabilize the motor...it was no fun. Next time, we could grab two stands, a pan, two blocks, a pole, and a motor, and that would be the end of it. At the end of the day, throw out the pan, put the blocks out of sight somewhere in the yard, and hang the other junk on a wall. Poof! Done. To roast a turkey, I could use the new smoke box I made for the Hoginator. The lower half is just a grill. Toss charcoal in, light it up, put the turkey on a short pole between the stands, and open a beer.

The more I think about it, the more I think Skippy's idea, though very slightly off-target, will lead to the best possible solution.