Moose Out Front Should Have Told You

I can't think of anything funny to say today, so I'll steal from Chris Muir.

Yesterday I wrote about the strange head cases who sit around criticizing me on their blogs, and Chris read it and emailed me. Apparently I struck a nerve. He agreed very strongly and mentioned a group of genetic oddities who spend their days rewriting his comics in order to "improve" them. It's a bunch of commenters on a Stalinist blog.

I wrote back and said, "The funniest thing about my rectal blog parasites is that they're conservatives who think I betrayed them by pointing out that Ann Coulter is crazy."

And Chris said: "Ann Coulter, Hillary in a funhouse mirror.."

I'm giggling even now, as I cut and paste.

I wonder how many aluminum-foil-framed Steve H. shrines will be torn off of trailer walls today because of this entry. And I guess the far-right, militia-nut, bring-back-slavery crowd will be burning Chris's comics, too. Although they'll have to print them out first, which means a long bicycle ride to Kinko's with a brown paper bag full of single-sided floppies.

Liberals barely notice me now, except for new liberal fans. That's great. That's exactly what I want. The left will forget I was ever a problem. Not so, with the Aryan-Nation-wannabees I have disappointed. But I'm pretty sure there are only about seven of them, and no one knows who they are or cares what they say, so that's okay.

How did I end up in bed with these people?

Yesterday I was watching a video on Drudgebart.tv.com--I can't help getting sucked in by those sleazy Instapundit-style blind links on the front page--and I saw a big crowd on a residential street, mounting a counterdemonstration against some New Black Panthers who showed up to harass an old white guy who shot two burglars. The Panthers got spanked pretty badly; the crowd intimidated them until they left. And I was thinking, "Yeah, teach those assholes a lesson!" Because they were protesting in favor of home-invasion burglars. More accurately, they were protesting against the right to defend yourself with deadly force, which is essential to our safety. They can claim it's about race, but it's not. This guy didn't break into Harpo headquarters and shoot Oprah while she was getting a massage from Gayle King. He shot a couple of very scary criminals who were menacing him, and it was entirely their fault, and he did nothing wrong. Had the burglars been white, they would still be dead.

Still, as I watched the video, I realized that even though I was on the side of the counterprotesters, there were probably a whole bunch of racist kooks in that crowd. And I'm not referring to the Panthers, who can pretty much be presumed to be racist kooks. I mean, if you shot everyone in that crowd full of magical truth serum and asked them why they were there, probably 20% of them would say, "I hate niggers."

So now you see how I ended up in bed with freaks and nutjobs. Sometimes a principled view on a social matter happens to coincide, in practice, with the view of a bucktoothed cretin whose only achievement in life was being born white.

There are plenty of racists on the left, but at least they have the good sense to be hypocritical about it, so it's less obvious. Or they only pick on Christians, Jews, men, and Caucasians, and the official PC view is that that does not count.

It's sad that you can't be an enlightened conservative without periodically announcing that you want nothing to do with racist cranks, but that's the way it is, and more of us need to do it. The cranks need to know how alone they are, and that they can't blend in, and that their support is not wanted. When you let them know where you stand, it's like spraying luminol on a backseat where someone was stabbed. The hidden residue of intolerance lights right up.

In other news likely to make some conservatives mad, Dennis the Peasant gloats over Charles Johnson's departure from the Pajamas Media management. The real story here? Pajamas Media has management. I thought the plan consisted of giving former PR head Vik Rubenfeld seven million dollars in venture capital and then calling six months later to see what he had done with it. Sort of a variation on the million-monkeys-with-typewriters thing.

It still amazes me. Seven million dollars to start a group blog! As contrasted with the usual cost, i.e. nothing.

I can't help wondering if political blogging is passe. I look around at the failures and disgraces, and even though the right is much farther along on its boat ride down the sewer, political blogs seem pretty anemic on both sides of the spectrum. Maybe it's just my perception because I don't read them very much. But Pajamas Media failed. The Huffington Post failed. Arianna's unbelievably bad humor site is failing. There are a few big successes, but things just don't feel the same as they did four years ago.

Dennis thinks Johnson may have been dumped because Little Green Footballs is so extreme (I hope he does--I'm linking to a new entry I have not read yet.). I wonder. When PJM started out, their aspiration was to be nonpartisan. Like Huffpo, they were going to have the best of both sides of the spectrum. Instead both sites ended up stocked overwhelmingly with mediocrities (generous description), and the pretense at diversity disappeared. Are the PJs still hoping to draw a more balanced crowd? Are they trying to skew things more toward the center by attenuating their association with kookdom?

Here's a tangential question. Has Laurie David become obscure yet, or will it take another three months? How long does a famous ex-husband's fame cling to you, if you've never achieved anything whatsoever in your own right? I hope she doesn't have the staying power of a Yoko Ono.

Dennis is right about LGF being way out there. I got turned off of it a long time ago, because I saw stuff there about how all the Palestinians should be slaughtered. Maybe a site like that was not a great choice for top billing, and maybe Reynolds and Malkin realized that being lumped in with LGF would not help their careers a whole hell of a lot.

Seems like Fox has finally thrown in the towel, RE the quest to make Malkin a TV star. She's no longer hosting O'Reilly's show three times a week. At least I don't think so; I don't watch enough TV to be sure. Maybe they felt they needed to take resources away from Malkin in order to focus more fully on turning Courtney Friel into the next Ed Murrow ("Bikini Atoll? Ooh! Sounds like my kind of place!"). These days Fox News is like a busy airport where all the traffic controllers are at the base of the tower, engrossed in a crap game. It's like that scene in National Lampoon's Vacation, where the Family Truckster rolls through the desert on autopilot, only the person sleeping behind the wheel is Roger Ailes instead of Clark Griswold.

I have to stop. I'm laughing too hard. I just picture Ailes rolling down the road in a giant station wagon, with the corpse of Rachel Marsden strapped to the roof. And tied to the bumper? Curt Long.

I guess that makes Joel Surnow Randy Quaid. Emptying the waste tank of his RV into the minds of the viewers.

Just remember: "Hillary in a funhouse mirror." That should help everyone hate me for another week or two.