Fit for a King or Even Pulitzer Prize Nominee Jonah Goldberg

You know what? I am the god of pizza. The GOD.

I just made another 14" pie, and unfortunately, I ate 10 of 12 slices before I remembered I wanted to take a picture. It was gorgeous. Anyway, it was one of the best pizza I've ever had, and I know the next one will be completely perfect.

Finally. I thought this day would never come. This is like perfecting the fusion reactor; it took years of work. What a relief. This is like the day when I realized that all cheesecakes but mine were basically vomit on a cracker. I'm serious. Try my damn book when it comes out. You will weep with shame, to think you doubted me.

I made one mistake. I tried balsamic vinegar instead of white. It added some flavor, but it was a little too much. Next time I think I'll do two parts white to one part balsamic.

Here is what I did. I cut back on the sauce, and I took the oil and sugar out of the crust. And I decided to use real garlic, because I was sick of using powdered in order to simulate street pizza flavor. That's it. That's all it took to put me in sight of the summit of pizza perfection.

Here, try this sauce.

INGREDIENTS

3 ounces Stanislaus Super Dolce sauce
2 tablespoons white vinegar
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1/2 teaspoon dry oregano
3 ounces water
1 tbsp. olive oil
1 teaspoon fresh garlic

Use a thin layer of that on a 14" pie. I used about 5 ounces, and that was almost heavy. Use my dough recipe, with high gluten flour, but leave the sugar out. Don't use oil in the dough, but oil the outside of it while it rises. You need at least 12 ounces (weight) of cheese.

Jesus, this was good. I now make the best pizza I can get locally. I know of no pizzeria in Miami that can touch this stuff. Hell, I don't recall a New York pizzeria that makes a better pie. And it was so easy. The kitchen isn't even dirty.

I think this is the happiest day of my life. And you should feel the same way.

The fresh garlic is wonderful. It's great to abandon the cheap-pizza ethic and get a little free with ingredients. I may try 00 flour next time, just for the hell of it. I still have a big bag.

Oh, man. I'm having an ego surge. Time to run around the block naked, screaming "I'm the man."

I hope no one has a BB gun handy this time.