This Entry Contains no Information Regarding Pulitzer Prize Nominee Jonah Goldberg

I'll tell you what. I have come to realize that performing is physically draining.

I've been on the Nowlive featured network for a few days running now, and at the end of a show, the adrenaline goes out of me, and I start to feel the way you feel about half an hour after a car wreck. Wiped out. There were all sorts of things I wanted to do today, but I can tell I'm going to be worthless until at least 3 p.m.

I have mixed feelings about this whole business. On the one hand, I have always dreaded fame. Even the tiny sliver of it you get from talking to a few thousand people. I wanted my work to be famous, but as for me, I wanted to be like J.D. Salinger. And I was mortified the day I realized I was going to have to put my face on video. Not as mortified as the people who had to look at it, but pretty mortified.

On the other hand, I have always wanted to do radio, without the cameras. Radio stars get to express themselves, and they aren't nearly as recognizable as other celebrities, unless they choose to be.

Sadly, you have to have a webcam if you want to get anywhere in Internet radio.

Things I helped the public understand today:

1. Fried food has magical healing powers, especially if you rub it on the afflicted area of your body.
2. Gun control results in people attacking and injuring each other with frozen candy bars.
3. If Al Gore rode a motorcycle, most of it would be concealed between his gigantic buttocks.
4. Cows have their own Bill of Rights, and it's mostly about their right to be eaten by me.

I can tell I'm going to make a pizza. There is just no way I can avoid it. I should throw that cheese in the street.

I have decided to do a Nowlive show on Sunday, even though it's during the Super Bowl. These people did me a big favor by featuring me, and I'm not going to leave them hanging. I think it would be best if I didn't use the pizza material until a better week, however. No point in wasting it on 50 people.

As soon as my strength returns, I will get the yeast going. You know what? All the work I've done--the blogging, the books, the radio appearances, Nowlive--it will all be worth it, even if all I really get out of it is the ability to make a monster pizza. I mean, pizza is that important.

I can tell you agree.